Say Their Name

by | Nov 1, 2020 | Inner Work | 1 comment

I recently was being facilitated on a subject very near and dear to me: jealousy over the success of others, and the dynamic of the top 1% getting most of the success.

As I normally do in such a topic, I described the situation more broadly: “those people,” or “those at the top of the food chain.”

I was asked to give the name of an individual that was representative of this group, that I felt some of this emotional energy towards.

I immediately felt uncomfortable saying it. This was a private session by the way, no one else was going to hear this. The discomfort was within my own self, and just to say it in front of someone I absolutely trust (and who has absolutely no idea who this person is.)

I took note of this impact right away. Just saying the name, putting a real human person to this subject created a shift in the energy and the feelings I had come up.

Granted, it was not unusual for this individual, and others, to show up as a sort of collective-collage in my mind. When I think of a certain group or ‘type’ of person, specific people often appear in some form. Saying the name of one out loud was the particular action that changed things significantly.

To take this several steps further, I was led through an EFT tapping round that specifically used the name.

  • Yes, it was often uncomfortable to say it.
  • Yes, this made it more powerful, and gave everything in the round a very different dimension.
  • Yes, I am going to suggest you try this 🙂

I am sure that more than one of the subjects you work on, or wish to work on, has at least one specific person involved in it.

If you have anything you are working with that involves another person, try adding their name, out loud, to the process.

If it is EFT for example, you can use some of the following with the setup statements:

“Even though I feel this anger towards {name}…
“Even though I resent {name}
“Even though I still haven’t let go of my feelings towards {name}
“Even though I am jealous of {name}
“Even though I have all of these conflicting feelings towards {name}

.. and so on.

If you are doing a different releasing practice, journaling, Inner Reconciliation – try including the name, include it in the actual writing and speaking.

If you find it a bit uncomfortable to say, as I did, that’s an even bigger incentive to go for it. There is a lot of benefit in bringing that discomfort up to the surface while you are in the space of doing something that will help process it.

There is power in a name. We have seen the impact just saying one can have, and the cultural, social calls to bring silenced or under-acknowledged names to the forefront – or to stop bringing attention to others. Even the mythological characters that come to life, good and bad, by saying their names, my sense is this premise exists for a reason.

To be totally honest, part of why I am writing this is not only to share it, but to serve as a reminder to myself. There is more than one name I could use a few rounds with, and now that I am presenting this, it is going to make me accountable to do it.

Give this a try for yourself, and see what comes up for you. I am guessing some of you will feel quite comfortable with it, and it may not have a huge impact on the process.

Others may find it difficult to even think of the name, let alone to speak it out loud. The more discomfort is there, the more gold there likely is in doing this.

You can experiment with incorporating this on any area of your life, or psyche, that involves another person: co-workers, partners, people in your field that rub you the wrong way, celebrities that rub you the wrong way, presidential candidates, you name it.

It does not have to be someone you are particularly close to or charged around in order to have some potentially interesting and useful benefits.

Of course, do not force yourself to do something severely uncomfortable, but make a note of it and begin to work “around” the subject.

It may be just bringing up the name to your mind while you take some deep breaths and process the feelings that come up, gradually softening some of the resistance around it.

As always, I am happy to hear any experiences, thoughts or insights in the comments, and to answer any question there as best I can.


1 Comment

  1. Johanna

    This couldn’t have come at a better time for me! Resentful thoughts towards a certain person have been going around in my head. Just a moment before reading your blog, I actually said some of these thoughts out loud. Now the idea of using those thoughts in a few rounds of tapping, along with the person’s name, sounds like the perfect thing!


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