Beware ‘Hoping to Get It’ Someday

by | May 27, 2022 | Inner Work | 3 comments

You have thousands of hours of Yogi’s, spiritual teachers, sages and mystics available to listen to at your fingertips.

There are more teachings and dialogues being uploaded even as you read this (be sure to like and subscribe 😉

This is an amazing, but also dangerous thing.

There’s a particular orientation I’ve been across as I facilitate inner work with people, or discuss subjects like Inner Reconciliation or EFT.

Their mind is full of a lot of very high level metaphysical concepts, aspirations, non-dual teachings (they may have been felt as well, or touched the heart as well.)

  • “We’re not the body…
  • “We create our own reality…
  • “Everything is perfect as it is…
  • “In the emptiness where there is no suffering…
  • “When you finally let it all go and just love yourself..”

Which could be fine, or beautiful, BUT:

There’s a background sense of hoping that this is all just going to ‘click’ one day.

We’ll hear the right teaching, or have that moment where it finally all makes sense, becomes a lived reality.

You’ll get to that place where all the realizations are complete, there’s no more pain and suffering.

This has happened, but it’s not a great strategy.


Theory vs. Experience

Having the theory – that we are all one, that there is no separate self, that thoughts create reality, whatever theories you feel, is different than the experience.

How do we consciously, proactively examine these teachings?
How do we PROVE them to ourselves?
How do we FEEL and experience them?

Well, you do it by directly engaging with what you are feeling and experiencing.
Right now, in this moment.

The theories are often used to help avoid feeling

How We Avoid Feeling

One example:
You feel a pain manifesting itself in the body.
We go to work on it, feel into it, explore it.
There is a natural resistance to this.
The resistance latches onto “but we’re not the body, right?”
Often unconsciously

Now resistance can use “I’m not the body (right?)” to disconnect.
Or read another book, or listen to someone else talk about not being the body
Or go ask another question to a teacher about not being the body.

None of that helps you experience it.

To be blunt:
Asking more questions and hearing more answers about these principles will very rarely help you actually feel and process anything.


Hope vs. How-To

I really don’t recommend just hoping that one day this is all going to make sense.

That background hope that some type of full-realization is going to take place, meanwhile the years go by, and your life with all the gritty details is happening NOW.

There’s nothing wrong with reading and listening, but I recommend you have something that gives you a how-to.

How to connect to your body, feel, expand your awareness, connect to something larger than yourself…

These can be practiced. Practiced like any other skill.

You’d never hope to play piano by watching enough videos.
You’d watch a video about step 1, then you’d practice step 1.

I strongly encourage this model.

I did a class called “building a daily practice” emphasizing this more. Everyone who joins the pilot membership to Forward Motion gets this for free

Also to be clear, I’m not saying you need to do some type of inner work or practice to have a spiritual realization, awakening, or to see through the veil of duality. That happens to people often for no reason with no work or background.

I do believe it IS directly connected to having a functional life, healthy relationships, and being able to navigate life AND awakening experiences (which have nothing to do with turning you into a perfect or even well-functioning person.)


The Power of Hope

Hope and faith are powerful and beautiful.

You ARE going to be OK and get whatever you need.

There’s a role for wisdom as well. That’s where you see with clarity – where ‘hoping to get it’ is a different kind of ‘hope’ that can prevent taking the steps to practice and grow.

If this resonates with you, if you have questions or anything about this you want to ask or share, please let me know in the comments below or schedule a no pressure offer to connect 1-on-1



  1. ildiko Haag

    Wow, yes, exactly! A spiritual experience seems to be like a taste of what’s possible to experience from time to time, to return to as the substratum of ALL life experiences.

    Practising seems to be designed to ‘re-condition’ the body-mind, so it realises that it’s safe to exist in a relaxed state… that it doesn’t have to hold on ‘just in case’ every minute of the day. That it’s okay to have ALL kinds of feelings and experiences… all elements are necessary.

    So life becomes more enjoyable even if nothing visible will really change at first. And then those visible things (relationships, money, functioning) just seem to start to change… and the feedback loop flows the opposite way…

    Does this make sense? I’m trying to put felt things (abstract) into words.

    • Evan

      Yes, this is great – it should go on YOUR blog for sure 🙂

      • ildiko Haag

        Thanks, Evan. Following your suggestion, I did paste it into an article I’m writing.


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