I can still vividly remember the girl I had a crush on in eighth grade.
Actually, let me take that back a bit.
I’m not sure how much I remember HER, as in her personality, or exactly what she looked like… I’m not sure I even remember her hair color, if I’m honest.
What I DO vividly remember is a brutally awkward moment and a tacit rejection.
I remember my friends, knowing I liked her, making a move to ‘help.’
In a pretty empty theater, early in the movie, they all jumped out of their seats. It unexpectedly forced us next to each other by ourselves, a row of just us, for the duration of the film.
I completely froze.
It wasn’t just a freezing. It was a deep feeling of shame and embarrassment, knowing I had absolutely no clue what to do, that I was completely overwhelmed, and this was not going to go well.
On top of it, people were probably going to hear about it in school later.
I remember those feelings as clear as day. I remember the drop in my stomach. I remember the feeling as though my entire perception sunk into a very narrow ball.
Even for at least 10 years after that, I would consider that a total cringe, embarrassing moment that I would viscerally feel if it ever drifted towards my consciousness.
Now, this is far from the worst story of rejection out there. This also doesn’t even touch the amount of trauma some people face.
What I did in that last line though, is something we often do. Minimize.
No, it wasn’t the worst thing that ever happened, but believe me this reinforced an image of myself as someone who is clueless, unattractive, and basically without hope when it came to dating and relationships.
This remained for years after that… until I learned how to do something about that stored energy.
Actually, it’s more accurate to say, when I actually applied what I learned to processing memories like this.
Doing it came well after I learned what to do… as it often goes.
Now I can literally smile and laugh when I remember this.
In fact as I was typing it, I suddenly felt this appreciation for my friends who were trying to help me out. Trust me, that is not what I felt at the time.
It doesn’t always have to be a brutal rejection that we need to process, either.
Some of the painful memories were simply the conversations I never had because I was too scared.
The point is, these past experiences stay with us and shape our energy, our emotions, the way we perceive ourselves in countless ways that are often unconscious.
It is a highly, highly valuable use of your time to process old events around rejection and romantic relationships.
It doesn’t matter if those events are one week or 25 years old.
I have a few EFT videos you can use on my channel, including “romantic rejection and working through it.”
Dialoguing with the young part of yourself, giving yourself the support you didn’t get in the moment of rejection is often helpful too.
For some it will be more of a somatic approach. Whatever works for you, this subject has a lot of gold in it.
The drop in class this coming Thursday is going to focus on how to process these events and we will spend the time together actually doing it.
It is only 12 bucks and whether or not you attend live, you will have the recording forever.
It is focused on processes you can use over and over again, and I’ll be guiding us through them as a group (so you won’t be missing out on any 1-on-1 if you’re not there live).
If that resonates with you, sign up below 😊