The little unconscious decisions can shape everything.
When we talk about subjects like self-worth, self-esteem or feeling abundant, it is very easy to romanticize them.
We might imagine that feeling “worthy” is some type of elated state where we are bursting with positive thoughts, feelings, and expectations of the future.
On the other side, “unworthy” may seem to point to our lowest lows, or only those areas where we experience the most pain and lack.
While we may experience some (or many) moments of either state, these definitions can make us lose sight of something very important.
The subtle impact of self-worth
The more I have been learning, both from courses I am taking as well as my own exploration, the more subtle I am realizing the effects of self-worth really are.
How you truly feel about yourself and your value is affecting your life in countless ways that may be almost unnoticeable, until we bring them into awareness.
Rather than only those huge emotional moments, it is:
- The comment or email you take personally.
- That good looking stranger who gives you a look or smile, but you don’t engage back, or perhaps even see it happen.
- The idea for that YouTube channel or business or creative outlet that you never seem to start because deep down you think no one is going to care.
- The email you don’t send to someone you admire or want to work with.
- The job you don’t apply for, or don’t even consider a real option for you.
- The ways you put your own self-care behind the needs of others, in ways that might not be fully obvious.
I’m sure you get the idea, as well as how long this list could actually be.
There may be dozens, or more, of these per day. This is before we even get into the realm of the thoughts running through our minds.
This is where self-worth and our self-concept are REALLY impacting the shape of our lives.
I can think of so many personal examples.
From the women I never talked to because I assumed no one would be interested in me, when looking back on it, there was such obvious potential.
The number of great musicians I never talked to or approached about playing with because I thought they would never want to work with me, and in some cases those opportunities are lost forever.
The artists I worked with and never followed up with, assuming that they were hiring other people because they didn’t like me.
As you go through your day today, observe any places where there may be some subtle impulse in you, some creative idea, some potential interaction, that in a split second you shut down or avoid.
It likely does not come with a giant amount of self talk. You may have those self-critical moments as well, but those are obvious.
Look for those little moments where you may not have even realized that you are doing, or NOT doing something when somewhere in your gut you know there could be a different option with more potential.
Look for any subtle feelings of “That’s not for me.”
Look for wherever you assume that you are “not the type of person,” or are not in the right situation, to have what you want or experience something of great value.
This is where you can find some real gold.
I am also doing a drop in class on the subject of self-worth where we will do exercises and processes to go much more deeply into this. You can learn more about that here if you are interested.
Whatever it is, you are innately worth it. For many of us, it takes some exploring and clearing to realize this truth…
but you ARE worth it!