How long until I’m over this?
How long do I have to keep working on this subject?
I don’t have TIME for this right now.
There’s way too much going on to be entertaining ‘nice’ ideas of working on my beliefs or energy.
My body needs to recover. My patterns need to change… NOW.
This is a familiar line of thinking. A familiar feeling that I encounter over and over.
Not only from working with others, but I’ll see it within my own mind.
When things get very ‘real’ with health, economy, and sudden radical changes all of which are happening in the world now, it can create a sense of urgency.
Not just impatience or frustration, which can be challenging enough, but actual urgency.
This can create a sense of needing to do one of these things:
- Radically increase your inner work. Go all-in, harder than you ever have before
- Put it aside, if not give it up entirely. Focus on the ‘real world’ and what you need to do.
Sometimes you will oscillate between thoughts of these two directions, even from minute to minute.
What to do?
There is a sweet-spot that I recommend exploring.
Like physical exercise and rehab, emotional work does not lend itself well to pushing or forcing.
You don’t make yourself heal faster by doing 10 times the reps at 10 times the weight. Similarly, forcing yourself to dive into your deepest fears every waking moment is rarely a short-cut to healing.
At the same time, you can be going through the motions of your exercise. Losing focus on the form, the fundamentals, not gently increasing and moving forward.
You can be latching on to spiritual ideas like ‘acceptance’ or ‘surrender’ in a way that is creating avoidance.
You may be doing things in your practice that while time consuming, are largely based on distraction. The active engagement is lost. Watching too many videos, engaging in mental exercises that create an illusion of inner work without creating a conducive environment for healing, and more.
You may be forcing yourself to try to ‘be with’ feelings that you don’t have the capacity yet to really be present with.
Refinement
When you feel that drive, even urgency to move forward, think of it as an opportunity to refine your practice.
Let yourself have the moments of freak-out, frustration, the need to fix NOW. Listen to those voices with compassion.
You can explore where you are pushing too hard, or where you have become attached to teachings or practices that may not be serving you as much as you believe.
Recognize that you DO want to heal and move forward in the way that is most effective. However, discovering ‘most effective’ is likely to be an art form. An ongoing learning and growing process.
Ask questions, both internally to yourself and to others on the path. Become curious about your own world.
You can explore some of the approaches, as well as the overall framework I present in You’re Not a Repair Project
As progress continues, you may begin to fall in love with the process as well.
I hope this helps on your path!
Evan
