I recently worked with a woman with a huge heart and wonderful, giving nature about her.
There are many people in need in her community, as well as many valuable causes and organizations. She feels a strong desire to support them in many ways, including financially, on top of her own bills and expenses that we all deal with.
It seemed that every time money did come in, there were so many places it absolutely needed to go, as quickly as possible. Holding on to any of it was simply not an option.
How many of you have experienced something similar to this?
Perhaps, even the thought of keeping some of that money may feel selfish and irresponsible. Especially if there is a sense of urgency in where that money needs to go, whether it is bills, supporting others, or both.
That sense of urgency is what needs to be addressed first, on an inner-experience level. Any theory about saving money or growth is not going to penetrate that raw, physical sense of earnestness.
Taking a deep breath and feeling into that physical and emotional sense of “this money needs to go there, there, and there, now” is critical, along with examining why it is so important and necessary on both a feeling and philosophical level.
It may feel like giving all you can is not nearly enough, but you must, because every bit helps. Maybe there is a sense of needing to catch-up, like you are chasing something from behind. This is just one example of many feelings that could arise as you explore.
EFT tapping, journaling, speaking aloud — some type of physical engagement of the body as you uncover these feelings is very powerful.
It is important to give space to feelings like this, and acknowledge that you do honestly believe in the causes and perceived needs or where that money must go now. Otherwise, the idea of paying yourself or saving will feel like a contrary, disrespectful idea that will create a strong inner conflict.
“I should pay myself” vs. “it needs to go here” as two enemies battling for position.
The only way the mind knows how to deal with such inner conflicts is to constantly go back and forth between the two sides, trying to rationalize one perspective. Maybe convince itself it’s ‘made a decision’ only to bounce back moments later.
As you continue to explore and express what you are feeling in an accepting way, you can explore whether or not having some of your own money as a resource that can grow and expand, can actually contribute more to the cause as well as yourself.
Imagine you are growing your own garden that continues to expand, vs. giving away any fruit or seeds the moment they come into your life. This is just one of infinite ways you can examine this perspective.
It’s something to be felt into, to find what works for you. You’re not trying to force this perspective in because you read it from a financial book. You are looking for that sense of how a different behavior can actually feel like it is contributing positively.
You’re also not trying to enforce a cold concept, such as saving x%, when it feels like a homework assignment. When it honestly feels to you that a course of action can improve your own well-being while contributing in an even better way, shifts can take place naturally.
Here is her feedback after working with this:
I hope you will explore this a bit yourself if you feel it applies to you. Keep us posted with any questions, comments or feedback in the comments below!